I am…

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The other day, I had a traumatizing mommy moment. Daisy, in all of her never-ending adorable-ness, stuck her hand under the dog while he was peeing. Yes, she intentionally stuck her little perfect baby hand into his stream of pee. She’s curious. She’s especially intrigued by liquids. This is normal, although — gag — a bit shocking. When I walked outside and witnessed this moment, I quickly gave way to a rare, primal, NOooooo! Both dog and baby stared at me feeling remorse and humiliation. Gunner trotted away. Daisy turned and ran, shrieking. I scooped her up and rushed her to the sink to wash. Then I soothed her and cooed assurances in her ear.

Post-recovery, I texted the story to my closest circle. This is something I do when I go through a moment I deem traumatic; I reach out. Those in my circle mostly laughed and replied with jokes.

Later, the nanny’s daughter came to watch Daisy as I had plans to attend a class and dine with friends after. Having heard the story, she teased Daisy.

“You’re nasty,” she joked.

My inner Mama Bear roared awake. Do not call my daughter nasty!, she threatened to heave. Instead, I took a deep breath and explained, I do not like to tell my children they are anything other than good, sweet, adorable people, which is what we all are at our essence. I do sometimes discourage them from making a repeated bad choice, such as sticking your hand in the dog’s pee. In which case, I might say something along the lines of, That’s gross. But “That’s gross,” and “You’re nasty” are on entirely different ends of the spectrum, in my mind.

As we tune into this work of feeding ourselves positive I am’s, I offer you this story with transparency and humility. See, the thing is: our habits in this area start early. If we have been feeding ourselves a steady diet of unworthiness [I am fat; I am stupid; I am unloved; I am lonely; I am exhausted, etc], it’s sometimes difficult to know when this habit began. I offer you — it starts early. And… it’s worth re-programming.

You are infinitely kind, beautiful and loved beyond measure, simply because you exist.

You are joy incarnate, peace and love.

You are capable of anything you dream of. Absolutely anything.

You are.

To close, I’ll leave a picture of the cuteness. Must be done after the tale above…