The other day, I was nervous. I was creating a video to promote my upcoming retreat. I’m not crazy about creating video — the kind where you stare into the camera and speak.
I’m not overly keen on the process, it feels unnatural and cheesy and I pretty much abhor it. I have a biological response, becoming stinky and sweaty and nervous as all get out. But I’ve been working on this video for awhile.
My friend, the videographer, pitched me the idea this summer. He reached out to me. He’s someone I’ve known since high school. Since I’ve been back in DFW, I’ve been impressed with him. He writes well. His opinion is interesting and informed. He’s created a business for himself and he’s clearly profiting gracefully.
His message was simple. He said, “Look. I normally do this for corporate gigs. I’ve been watching you and I see that you are hustling. It’s impressive. You’ve got a good thing going. A video would really benefit you.” I hemmed and hawed and finally decided perhaps he knew what he was talking about.
So we gave it a go. We had an interview. He filmed a class. Then I put off editing it for eternity. Why? Because I was dreading seeing myself on film. I pick myself apart in those circumstances. Hair, skin, weight, shape, sound of voice – it all drives me crazy. But when I finally got around to it, the editing wasn’t so bad. Turns out, I had some interesting things to say. And often, I said them well. I was engaging and fun to watch. Hmmm. Maybe this isn’t the worst thing in the world, I thought.
Then I had about 5 more ideas of themes I needed videos for. My friend said, “Let’s shoot them now.” It took a couple of weeks, but here we are. The second shoot.
Even though I had come to see the value of the work, I was still apprehensive. But I knew I needed it. And then, something inside me woke up. Why are you dreading this?, my new internal voice said. This is awesome! You get to tell people why they should come on your retreat and to your workshops. It’s a huge opportunity. Stop fighting it and start loving it.
So I did.
And we had fun. Myself, my friend and his fellow videographer/sound/lighting friend, were on fire. We were laughing and cutting up. I wasn’t sweating or nervous. My words flowed relatively easily and when they didn’t, we all laughed and kept going.
So what happened? How did I get fear to take a hike?
Simple. I just decided to stop being afraid.
I offer you this story humbly. Where are you allowing fear to hold you back? Can you perhaps see there is nothing to fear and instead rise? Let yourself be seen. Let the beauty of your own soul shine. Don’t hold back. It doesn’t serve anyone for you to play small. Breathe. Reach deep within. And let it shine.